Wednesday, April 2, 2014

WTF Wednesday!

So truth be told, I have been GOOD for a REALLY long time! And therefore, I haven't written y'all a fun WTF Wednesday post in awhile... I tried. I really did. I TRIED to be good! But then I saw this little nugget of a headline yesterday, and I nearly lost my shit mind...

US Requiring Back-up Cameras In Cars By 2018


What in the holy name of assanineness is THAT?!?!? Requiring backup cameras in cars? Mandatory?! For REALS?! Via legislation?! THIS is the project our country is working on?! Not terrorism. Or finding the big flipping plane that just fell out of the sky and disappeared. Or cancer research. THIS is what is considered of utmost importance?!? You have got to be pulling my leg... But oh! OH! Wait for it... Because you're going to like this... The reason they're doing this? To try and curb a few of the 210 lives that are taken each year by backup accidents... Let that sink in... There are over half a MILLION cancer deaths per year in the US. But hey- that can wait.

*bashing head into desk in frustration*

This is what I'm pretty sure our politicians look like when they think up a new law to pass...

You see- they CLAIM this change will save atleast 60 lives per year. So basically we're mandating MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars in upgrades in vehicles-via our federal government officials who CERTAINLY have better crap they could be working on- which will cost you and I a BOATLOAD of money in the end (in car payments AND insurance)- because people are idiots. Yep. Makes sense. I totally get it.

*insert sarcasm*

Okay fine. FINE. I'm sure it WILL save SOMEBODY. And yes. That's good. I'm not trying to downplay the circumstances in which this is helpful. Truth is- not everyone that does this is a space walking, shroom eating moron. And sometimes small kids are little turds and don't watch/aren't aware of what the heck they're doing. (I know, because I live NEXT DOOR to a park and my driveway is next to the jungle gym. I have to watch VERY closely and be mindful every day of those sneaky little nuggets.) But in the cases of these bozos who are drunk and/or high (which accounts for the other 75% of those deaths each year), that camera is just going to be another thing that they can't comprehend- like getting dressed, living somewhere other than their mom's house, and understanding that Doritos aren't a food group. It's not going to HELP!

*sigh*

Really? Freaking back up camera legislation? To the tune of MILLIONS of dollars!? Pfffttt...

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, let me just back up this hoe train and hit you with some knowledge...


In the US, 127 people PER YEAR are killed by lightning. LIGHTNING! So are we building a bubble over the US to save us from THAT ultimely demise? Because I'd rather not be flash roasted and used for croutons while clipping my lawn this summer... And by the way, do you know that 26 of those lightning deaths happen while fishing?! I think we outlaw the sport. Ban it! Close down fishing permanenly. As I mentioned, I don't look forward to waving a stick with a worm attached one minute- and then being extra crispy and served with coleslaw the next. What are we doing about THAT government, hmm?!? Lightning is legislatable. Get on that.

Also- I bet you didn't know that 100 adults per year die by CHOKING on ballpoint pens... Now- as luck would have it- and this may come as a shock to you- I have never had to worry about this little hazard before. Because, well, I'm not a moron... I'm not quite sure why the hell I'd feel the need to put a pen in my mouth- and especially down my throat- in the first place. (There are other delicious things that I clearly think belong there instead!) But it happens. One person every THREE days! Does the ink give you super powers?! Is there something I'm missing about the taste of overprocessed plastic?! And what are we doing about THAT, government, hmmm?

I think we should all be forced to use finger paints. Permanenly. The non toxic kind. Because I'd hate to start a new statistic. Ever been to kindergarten and seen the child eating glue directly from the bottle? Well that kid grows up... And moves on. To ball point pens. And most likely finger paints. And eventually shrooms. (And NOW we've come full circle. So maybe backup cameras can impact a whole REALM of brainless activity...)
*face palm*

I'm sorry, but I just cannot deal with this newest legislation...
Or maybe I should help?..... Yes! There's an idea! Help write legislation! (Are you scared yet?!?!) Help save US from OURSELVES! Oooo, that'd be fun...


300,000 deaths per year caused by obesityBan cupcakes. Forever. Put it down, Chubby! No cupcakes for you!

4,000 deaths per year in swimming poolsYou swim in puddles now! Or your bathroom sink! Or your coffee cup! No more pool for you...

822 deaths per year from falls caused by trippingThat's it! Stop ALL the things! No cupcakes. No swimming pools. And certainly no walking! You. Could. Die. The horror!

(Seriously though- tripping? Pretty much that means I'm on ATLEAST my 23rd life- because I fall CONSTANTLY. I'm a klutz and a half. For real. One of these days I'm either going to bonk my head and die or get zapped by lightning mowing the dog poops- because Lord knows I am NOT picking them up. *gag* Lazy. *gag* Poops. *gag* Squishy. *gag* Stinks. *gag* Can't. Do. It.)

I'm off to ponder this newest law, think of some more of my own, and then ask God to forgive my sassy mouth. Which happens pretty much every day.

I wonder how many people die each year thanks to bubble wrap? Microwave exposure? Faulty crosswalks? Saline implant explosions? Crocodile wrestling?


5 comments:

Tiffany @ The Fit Train said...

Whaaat!? I had not heard about this. Completely ridiculous!

Daniel Weise said...

Shows you what a good transportation lobby can do to force rules on the population so the insurance companies can make more money. I was thinking we might have to just legislate against breathing to stop people from choking!

♥ Drazil ♥ said...

I cannot think about this. I simply cannot. I still love you though. lol

Jewlz280 said...

Saw it. Bitched to high heaven and then got to thinking about it. When we were car shopping, realized that almost every car we looked at (from Lexus sports car to honkin' big family car), all came with the cameras standard. So... moot point. Apparently car makers are already putting them on there! So a law was passed that was doubly pointless. My car has the camera and I quite love it - especially in the city. But to REQUIRE it? For sure a WTF moment when so many other HUGE issues are much higher on the priority list!

Laura Belle said...

First off, I agree. Legislators are the biggest f*cktards. God the make me so made.

2nd. This was hilarious and I spit on my computer screen because I took a drink of water when I read the Choking thing. lol!
Thanks!